


Ripped apart

by dab



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Forced Separation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Political Games, Separation, forced break-up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-05-19 12:50:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19357372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dab/pseuds/dab
Summary: Thorin and his company have successfully taken back Erebor. Thorin has been officially crowned King, with Fíli and Kíli next in line. All is well until Thorin is informed of the extremely low birth rates of their race. Together with his council he thinks of a way to stimulate Dwarves to prioritize family over craft. They all agree: Fíli must produce heirs to show their people that the future of their race is more important than craft and, yes, even love.





	1. Destructive decree

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlmarvel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarvel/gifts).



> Welcome to another story that got completely out of hand.  
> It will be a multi-chapter fic that is nowhere close to completion at this point.  
> This chapter is a Spring FRE 2019 prize fic for [damnitfili](https://damnitfili.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr.  
> Enjoy!

“… fewer and fewer Dwarves are being born, our race is dying out. Our people prioritize craft over family and it is detrimental to our future survival.” One of the councilmembers spoke, his tone grave and eyes solemn.

“This is true, I have seen it happen in many Dwarven settlements.” Another spoke.

“Because of these facts, the council has given the following advice to our King a few months ago, and we will have his answer today.” The first Dwarf continued as he opened a scroll to read.

  _“Our Kingdom is in need of strong leadership. We believe the Line of Durin should lead by example. Our Future King needs to show the importance of family and children to his people. The Line of Durin must continue. Our advice is therefore that Fíli, first heir to the Throne of Erebor, should father a child within the next year. This will secure the Line of Durin and set an example of the importance of children over personal wants.”_

Fíli and Kíli listened with growing disbelief to the members of the council of Erebor. Why didn’t Thorin tell them to stop?

“But Fíli is my One, and I am his!” Kíli yelled in outrage, standing up from the spectator seats Thorin had ushered him and his brother into at the start of the meeting. He gained the attention of the council and received more than one look of annoyance for his disruption.

“We are aware, and this will send an even stronger message.” The Dwarf who had read the scroll answered. “It is well known that you two are One and if you set aside your selfish needs to father children for the good of the Kingdom, our people will see that children are what is most important.”

“Selfish needs? Mahal has forged us as two parts of one soul. It is against our very nature to be apart. You cannot expect us to father children with others.” Fíli addressed Thorin directly. Thorin was the one who would make the decision. If _he_ told the council ‘no’, then it would not happen.

And Fíli was sure that Thorin would be on their side. All these years he had told them that it was okay to be together. That he blessed their union. Anybody who doubted their relationship in the past had been reprimanded by Thorin and reminded that Ones are sacred. The council was foolish to think Thorin would agree with them.

Thorin looked at him and Fíli could not decipher what he was trying to convey.

“I agree with the council.” Thorin finally said. Fíli was stunned.

“No!” Kíli interrupted again, eyes wild and shifting between Fíli and Thorin. “No you cannot!”

Thorin sent him an unimpressed look and continued.

“I agree with the council.” He repeated. “We need heirs to the throne and a strong future King who shows our people the importance of family and children. I need you both to set a good example.” He said, addressing his nephews directly. “Both of you will take a wife and father children as soon as possible.”

“No, Thorin, you cannot ask this of us.” Fíli tried. He was becoming desperate, foregoing Thorin’s official title.

“I can and I am. Your relationship is over, as of now, and I expect you both to attend a formal dinner tonight in which you are introduced to potential wedding candidates.”

“Tonight?! How long have you been planning this?” Kíli yelled, his temper flaring at the injustice.

“A while now. The council has brought this matter to my attention and I have been making preparations ever since. You are both to choose a wife within a few weeks.”

“Weeks?!”

“Yes, Fíli. Weeks. Am I not making myself clear? There is a need for you two to father children within the next year or so. We have just reclaimed our birthright and it is important to set a good example from the start. The sooner your babes are born, the sooner Erebor will prosper since it will cause a flock of new Dwarves to come to the mountain. You two will lead by example.”

“What about you?!” Kíli screamed, completely shocked and overwhelmed. “Why can’t _you_ have some fuckin’ kids. Make some new heirs which you can force to do your ridiculous bidding!”

A few gasps were heard from the council, shocked at the insolence of the King’s nephew. Thorin did not take the bait though. He had expected this kind of reaction.

“Even if I did father children, Fíli would still be my first heir since I named him as such. You two are the future of our Line and it is your children who will become heirs after you. This is my decision and it is final. Prepare yourselves for the dinner, make sure you both look your best.” Thorin dismissed them.

Fíli tried to search for a smidge of compassion within Thorin’s hard gaze, but he found none. The King was as immovable as his mountain and there was nothing they could do or say at that moment that would change Thorin’s mind.

Fíli stood up and grabbed his brother’s hand, pulling Kíli away from the council and out of the room. Kíli was cursing and yelling insults all the way and Fíli couldn’t tell him to stop, because Kíli was speaking the words that he himself was thinking. When the door to the meeting room closed behind them and they were alone in the hallway, Kíli finally stopped screaming. All the fight drained out of him and he sagged against the wall, sliding down. He ended up sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face hidden in his hands.

Fíli’s heart lurched at seeing his brother so broken. Normally, as the older brother, he would find a way to cheer him up, but right now he just felt empty. He had nothing to offer except his support, which was why he sat down next to him, legs touching and an arm slung around Kíli’s shoulders.

“Tell me this isn’t happening, tell me this is all a joke, a dream, a _nightmare_.” Kíli whispered fervently. Fíli’s hold on his brother tightened but he offered no words.

“What should we do? We can’t leave, I don’t want to leave. We just reclaimed our new home, we worked so hard for this. How can they ruin this for us?” Kíli continued rambling, his agony evident in every word.

“I don’t know, I just don’t know.” Fíli responded, resting his forehead on Kíli’s shoulder and failing to mask the hollow feeling that was settling in his heart.

“I can’t obey them, Fíli. I cannot stop loving you, stop touching you, stop seeing you. I can never go back to being just your brother, we have never been _just_ brothers.” It sounded like Kíli was trying to convince _him_ that they should stay together. As if he would ever consider leaving Kíli.

“We won’t. You’re my One. We _can’t_.” Fíli said with more confidence than he felt. “We won’t stop. We’ll just.. keep it behind closed doors. Keep it a secret.” Kíli’s sobbing exhale spoke of his release in tension. Had he really thought Fíli would just give them up?

“You are more important than my duty.” Fíli added, feeling his brother relax marginally at the verbal confirmation of his devotion. Not even Thorin could convince him that breaking things off with Kíli was a good idea. But as he looked at his brother, who was trying to hold himself together in the face of this political mess, he couldn’t help but be afraid of what was to come.

\--

 

It was not half an hour later that found Kíli walking towards the training grounds. He and Fíli’d had no time to get used to the idea of their (public) separation or a chance regroup in the privacy of their rooms. Fíli was expected at the forges to witness an inspection and Dwalin was waiting for Kíli to assist him in training the new recruits to shoot a bow. Kíli had suggested they skip out on their duties and take some time for themselves, process this immense fuck-up that Thorin had cooked up without their knowledge, but Fíli had been adamant to continue his regular schedule and had encouraged him to do the same.

Kíli’s hand moved to his forehead of its own accord, softly touching the place where Fíli had touched him last. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face at the thought of his One and his parting words of comfort.

“We will figure this out. _Together_.” Fíli had whispered, and in that moment Kíli had believed him. Because how could he not. Fíli had never lied to him. Not about anything meaningful anyway.

But now that Fíli was on the other side of the mountain, Kíli felt unhinged. He was slightly hurt that Fíli had insisted to continue as if nothing was wrong, as if their lives hadn’t just been screwed up completely because of some political issue. Fíli was a master at keeping a straight face, pretending as if nothing was wrong. He had been trained by Thorin and Balin for decades not to show his emotions.

“A true ruler is not led by emotions, but takes them into consideration when making a decision. It is just one aspect and therefore should not be leading when deciding.” They had both heard this a thousand times over the years, but it never stuck with Kíli like it did with his older brother. And even though you could not call Fíli stoic by a long shot, he was still more inclined to ignore his emotions in favor of reason and tact.

Kíli knew he himself could not keep a straight face, though. He could not deal with this like Fíli could. He felt like screaming, crying, punching, rioting and leaving, all at once. He wouldn’t though. At least not this afternoon.

Lost in thought, he had arrived at the training grounds. Judging by Dwalin’s face he was late, but he really did not care. The training took his mind off the situation and he was glad for the brief distraction. And if he imagined the targets to be Thorin’s head sometimes, well, nobody had to know. The training passed in a blur and Kíli was collecting arrows and re-stringing bows when Balin arrived.

Knowing Thorin, he’d sent him over to convey more information about the whole situation and Kíli really did not feel like talking about it. At all. Ever. Balin called Dwalin over first. Kíli ignored them both, but looked over when he heard Dwalin’s outraged voice.

“What?! Are you serious?”

Balin had apparently shared the news of the separation of the princes. Balin dismissed his brother and Kíli stubbornly did not make eye contact with Dwalin when the older warrior left the training area. He did not need Dwalin’s pity right now.

“Kíli, can I have a quick word with you?” Balin asked as he approached. Kíli shrugged but didn’t answer as he continued to fidget with one of the bows.

“As you know, you are expected to attend a formal dinner tonight to meet new people.” Kíli gritted his teeth in anger at Balin’s choice of words.

“You are expected at the dining hall next to the Hall of Kings at sunset.” So it would be _very_ formal. They were trying to impress the guests. “We expect you to wear your most formal attire, preferably with _only_ the royal braids in your hair.”

Kíli felt like he was punched in the gut. He touched his hair, feeling for the very thin braid that Fíli had put there this morning. Fíli would generally put a fresh braid in his hair every few days, the meaning of the braid changing depending on his brother’s mood. The braid that was currently in Kíli’s hair meant ‘brother’. Fíli had been feeling nostalgic that morning and had playfully braided it in Kíli’s hair while sitting behind him in his underclothes. It made Kíli feel physically sick at how accurate that braid was right now, since that was now officially the only relationship between him and Fíli.

Balin either did not notice Kíli’s inner turmoil or chose to ignore it.

“You and Fíli will enter separately. You will enter first and Fíli, being the first heir, will enter last. Thorin has arranged for you to sit next to each other so you may support one another.” Balin stopped talking then, eyeing Kíli with a smile. He had clearly expected a thankful look or perhaps a comment on how _thoughtful_ Thorin was. Well, _fuck_ Thorin. If his uncle even thought for _one_ minute that he and Fíli would cooperate in this crazy plan, then he had another thing coming. Balin had perhaps interpreted Kíli’s grimace as a smile, since he happily continued explaining the proceedings of the evening.

“Your job tonight will be to just relax. Talk with some guests. Get to know some ladies. See if somebody catches your eye.”

“I know _exactly_ who will catch my eye.” Kíli gritted out, eyes flashing. Balin smiled sadly but continued talking about the ladies who would be present that evening. But Kíli did not listen. He did not _want_ to listen.

\--

 

Fíli found himself similarly cornered by Balin later that afternoon. He had expected Thorin’s oldest adviser at some point, so he was not surprised to see him after the inspection of the mines had finished.

“Fíli, a word please.” Balin said in lieu of greeting. Fíli nodded and he was led to a small room. They sat down and Balin started by explaining how he should dress, what time they were expected and where he should sit. He gave Balin a small smile when he heard that Thorin wanted him and Kíli to sit together. That was a smart move. Kíli would riot if he was suddenly expected to sit at the other side of the room.

“We are aware that this is a difficult situation, but we are expecting your full cooperation. For Kíli, it’s a little bit more flexible. But for you it’s imperative to connect with somebody as soon as possible. Mingle, talk to as many ladies as you can. I will be there as well and will keep track of who you have talked with. You can signal me if you have found somebody you would want to get to know better one-on-one at a later time.”

Fíli nodded, feeling numb and conflicted. He had not disobeyed direct orders often. The most recent was when Kíli had been hurt during their journey and Thorin had ordered him to part from his brother. That had been a life-or-death situation, though. Fíli shuddered at the thought. But was Thorin’s current order any different? Had he not ordered them to stay away from each other _again_?

But even if it went against his very nature, Fíli resolved to keep Thorin happy for a little bit. He wanted to give both the King and his council the impression that he was actually going along with their plan. He needed a little more time to think of a diplomatic way to convince Thorin that this was not the right way to solve the problem of their race. If he talked to Thorin now, he knew he would say things in his emotion that he would regret. And that would only have the reverse effect and cause Thorin to push them even harder. No, it was better to wait, calm down and go along with their orders for now.

He listened attentively to Balin’s description of the ladies that would be attending tonight. Balin was visibly pleased, confirming Fíli’s suspicion that Kíli had not even tried to pretend to listen to Balin. If Kíli was actively and visibly thwarting their plan, then Fíli needed to make ensure that he was actively and visibly cooperating. The more they opposed Thorin and the council, the more difficult it would be for them to be together in the long run.

He assured Balin he would not be late before parting ways. He needed to hurry if he wanted to be on time for his next appointment. He had a full schedule today and hoped he would have a chance to talk to Kíli before they were expected in the dining hall.

\--

 

It turned out Fíli did not actually have enough time for a coherent conversation. Kíli was waiting in Fíli’s room when the elder finally stormed in, not even a quarter of an hour before they were expected in the dining hall. Fíli immediately ripped off his clothes and started to frantically search through his drawers to find an acceptable outfit.

“I would have liked to help you pick out your clothes” Kíli said, “but that would mean I was helping the council and that’s really not what I’m going for right now.”

Fíli laughed lightly as he fished something half-decent from his cabinet. He cast a quick look in Kíli’s direction while fastening his trousers when it finally dawned on him what Kíli was wearing.

“You’re not wearing that, are you?” He blurted out. Kíli’s grin all but confirmed that he definitely was.

“That’s literally your old hunting tunic and your most ragged trousers. You look like you’ve just returned from a hunt.” Fíli did not mention Kíli’s lack of formal braids, because he knew there would be nothing in the world that could force Kíli to wear those.

“Yep.” Kíli answered, the grin still on his face. Fíli sighed deeply as he pulled his shirt over his head. He needed to tell Kíli that their best bet was to play along for now. That would ultimately be most beneficial for them. However, one of Thorin’s personal assistants chose that moment to sharply knock on the door.

“We need to leave for the dining room soon.” The Dwarf called through the door.

“Give us a few more minutes.” Fíli answered as he stood in front of his mirror. He quickly undid his braids to redo them. He had done this often enough that he could make eye contact with Kíli’s reflection in the mirror while he was braiding.

“I think we need to play along for now.” He explained. Kíli’s eyebrows shot up.

“What do you mean play along? I’m not choosing a _wife_ , Fíli.” Kíli answered.

“No, no, I’m not saying you should. I just think it would be.. unwise to openly defy Thorin by being dressed in rags.” Fíli explained, his tone reasonable while his heart sped up. He needed Kíli to keep calm. They could speak and cry and react later. After the dinner. For now they needed to be composed.

Kíli looked as if he wanted to protest, but Fíli’s face apparently showed enough urgency to convince him. Kíli huffed and stood up.

“ _Fine_.” He answered. “I will dress up. But not for them. Only for you.”

Fíli smiled broadly and felt his heart swell. Kíli undressed while he approached the door that connected their rooms, throwing a suggestive look at Fíli before disappearing to his own room. The tease.  

“Any minute now, your highness.” Thorin’s assistant called again.

“Yes, yes, coming.” Fíli answered as he quickly finished his last braid. Kíli appeared in the doorway a few minutes later. He wore the formal wear that Dís had commissioned for him and he was breathtaking. Fíli told him as much and was rewarded with a smile and a hand in his own.

“Fíli, I..” Kíli started, but the door banged open. Balin stood in the doorway and motioned impatiently.

“We cannot start without you, lads.” He said with a forced smile. His gaze fell on their intertwined hands. Fíli quickly let go and pretended to be oblivious to Kíli’s hurt look.

“Let’s go. We’ll talk later.” He whispered without looking at Kíli. Kíli nodded as they followed Balin out the door.

The walk to the dining room was tense. Neither brother knew how to behave in public now. Before today, they would be holding hands or joking or touching in a situation such as this. Or teasing Balin. Or babbling about their day. But now they needed to change their entire dynamic. They needed to appear as _just_ brothers and neither of them really knew how to be _just_ brothers. So they kept their distance and forced a smile when Balin looked at one of them. It was awkward.

Fíli was almost glad when they reached the dining hall. Almost, since Kíli’s mood turned even darker and he shot Fíli a look of helplessness when he was urged to enter first. Fíli tried to look encouraging, but he suspected his face showed a grimace instead.

Fíli watched how Kíli was announced (“I present to you: Kíli, son of Dis, nephew to our King Thorin Oakenshield, second heir to the Throne.”). Fíli snorted. The announcer had clearly expected Kíli to stop next to him and _let_ himself be announced. But Kíli’s foul mood made him stalk towards his appointed chair in a straight line, ignoring everybody in the room. Fíli did see Thorin’s look of disapproval, but it was unclear whether it was because of Kíli’s behavior or his braid-less hair.

When it was his own turn to enter, Fíli stood dutifully next to the announcer. It gave him a few moments to look around the room. There were around 10 dwarrowdams, all dressed in elegant garbs and fancy jewelry. Kíli outshone them all, even with his scowl firmly in place. Thorin sat at the head of the table, while Kíli and Fíli’s chairs were halfway down. Probably to provide contact with as many ladies as possible. Dwalin was sitting next to Thorin and Balin’s empty seat was on Thorin’s other side. The one person who was missing was the other member of the Royal family, their mother Dís. Fíli had expected her to be there. Her absence tonight was very meaningful. It meant she disagreed with Thorin’s decision. He wished he’d had a chance to talk to her today. She could have given him advice or at the very least soothed his nerves. He would need to seek her out first thing tomorrow.

The announcer motioned for Fíli to take his seat. Fíli nodded to Thorin as he walked forward and politely looked around the room.

“Good evening.” He greeted, which was met with a multitude of answers from the room’s occupants.

There was a short anticipatory silence after he sat down. Fíli was just about to break it when Balin spoke up.

“Welcome everybody. Now that we have welcomed our guests of honor, I would like to explain the proceedings. To guarantee everybody a chance to speak to our Princes, the lovely ladies in attendance tonight will change seats after each course, giving everybody a chance to sit either next to or opposite Fíli and Kíli at least once.”

Kíli leaned over to whisper in Fíli’s ear. “Just like _musical chairs_. Do you think they will remove a chair each round?” Fíli sniggered. “Sorry, you’re out, you can’t speak to Prince Kíli tonight.” Fíli replied softly. Kíli laughed. “Do you think I can leave if my chair is removed?” Kíli asked conspiratorially, a small grin around his lips. “It’s worth a shot.” he joked. His eyes met Kíli’s. The mirth reflected there matched his own. He felt the connection between them and his first impulse was to move forward and kiss him. He looked at Kíli’s lips as his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip.

Balin’s explanation suddenly cut through to his awareness. He blinked and leaned back into his chair, gaze snapping to Balin who was looking directly at him while describing the evening. Kíli huffed and crossed his arms as he too settled back into his seat.

Fíli did not know if it had been obvious he had been about to kiss Kíli. But even if nobody had noticed, it drove home how much they were used to showing their love in public. And how much they needed to keep themselves in check from now on. Fíli knew he needed to keep his distance from Kíli tonight if he had any chance of convincing Thorin that he was really trying to find a wife. He had never been a particularly good liar, but now it was essential to create goodwill and to ensure they would have even the smallest chance of reversing Thorin’s decision in the future.

He did not make eye contact with Kíli during the first course. He needed to keep his wits about him and seeing Kíli’s undoubtedly hurt look would not help him. He made conversation with a small group of dwarrowdams during that first course. His and Kíli’s relationship and status as One’s was well known throughout the Kingdom and it made the conversation stilted and awkward. It was even more difficult since Fíli’s One was sitting right next to him, sulking and closed off from everything but his tankard of mead.

Fíli kept the conversation light, far away from any potentially uncomfortable subjects such as relationships, brothers, family and his own life in general. He mostly listened and asked questions. The tense atmosphere had relaxed considerably when the second course was announced.

Fíli got the opportunity to exchange a few words with his brother when all ladies stood up and started moving around to find a new seat. Their conversation was masked by the sounds of scraping chairs and discussions about who would sit where.

“You okay?” Fíli asked carefully. He eyed the three empty tankards on the table and winced as Kíli emptied the fourth one in one long drink.

“Of course not. I am sitting next to my One who is making conversation with dwarrowdams who want to be his _wife_. Nothing about this is okay.” Kíli hissed. Fíli saw through Kíli’s obvious attempt to mask his hurt with anger. He touched his brother’s shoulder lightly.

“We just need to get through tonight with minimal fuss and then we can think of a plan to reverse Thorin’s decision.” Fíli whispered. “You know I want you and only you.” The sound around them was dying down and Fíli had run out of time to reassure his brother. He gave Kíli a meaningful look which hopefully conveyed his true feelings.

The females had obviously noticed that Kíli would not be engaging in _any_ conversation tonight, so they flocked to Fíli’s side of the table after the first round. Kíli was drinking excessively and was well on his way to being drunk when the next round was announced. He slurred something about needing to pee and disappeared through the door. Fíli noticed Thorin’s disapproving look and he knew he needed to show Thorin that at least one of his nephews was willing to make this work.

Kíli only returned to the table when the third round was well underway. Fíli was talking to a nice, red-haired dwarrowdam with a friendly face. She told him she and a few of her friends and their families had travelled all the way to Erebor just to meet them. Fíli learned that Balin had sent ravens to many Dwarven settlements a few months ago, probably around the time the council had informed Thorin of the declining birth rates. The message the ravens had carried was simple: Erebor belonged to the Dwarves again and its crown Prince and his brother were choosing wives to strengthen and expand the line of Durin. Fíli gritted his teeth that this had been known for months, while he and Kíli had only been informed today. Thorin had clearly wanted to keep them out of the loop.

The red-haired dwarrowdam, he had forgotten her name, was sympathetic and understood the strange situation he and his brother had been thrust into. He smiled and quickly changed the subject, unwilling to discuss it with anybody right now. When the round ended he saw Balin was looking at him. The older dwarf pointed to the dwarrowdam he had just talked to and signaled. Did he want to see her again? Fíli saw Thorin looking at him and he knew he needed to show he was cooperating. So he nodded and Balin smiled and wrote something down. But of course Kíli had spotted their exchange.

Kíli stood up abruptly, his chair clattered to the floor causing the whole room to fall silent. Kíli placed his hands on the table and leaned forward in the direction of the redhead dwarrowdam Fíli had been talking to.

“You will _never_ have my brother.” Kíli said darkly when he made eye contact with her. He did not yell, but the menacing tone of his voice carried through the room. She looked shocked at being spoken to in such a way.

“Kíli.” Thorin said in warning, but he did not interfere. He did not want to make a scene. Kíli ignored him.

“Only _I_ get to have him.” Kíli continued. Fíli’s heart rate doubled as the implication of Kíli’s words sunk in. Their relationship was officially over, the council had claimed it so. Kíli could not claim otherwise or their entire charade would collapse before it had even started.

“ _Kíli_!” Fíli hissed quietly into Kíli’s ear. “We need to keep up appearances.”

“And if I can’t have him..” Kíli continued, this time his eyes were trained on Fíli. “.. then _nobody_ can have him.” Kíli’s eyes brimmed with tears but they did not fall.

Fíli’s shoulders sagged in defeat. Kíli was broken, drunk and lost. Fíli reached out for him but was quickly shrugged off. The anger had returned. Thorin chose that moment to intervene.

“Kíli sit down. Stop being dramatic. Your brother does not belong to you.” Fíli winced at Thorin’s choice of words. Kíli was quiet for two ominous seconds as he turned to his uncle.

“I will stop only when you revoke this ridiculous decree and let us choose to be with whoever we choose to be. Fíli has always been mine, just as I am his.” Kíli replied. His voice was cold, almost devoid of emotion.

Fuck. Kíli was openly defying his King. They needed damage control and fast. Balin had come to the same conclusion and had instructed Dwalin to escort Kíli from the room. Kíli became completely enraged when Dwalin approached him and tried to steer him towards the exit. He elbowed the older warrior in the stomach and kept his eyes trained on their King.

“I heard what she just told Fíli.” He hissed through clenched teeth as he pointed to the redhead again. “About the ravens and the messages you sent out to everybody.” Kíli continued. Thorin’s face remained impassive. He did not rise to the bait, but Kíli was beyond caring and continued ranting at his uncle. Dwalin quickly grabbed him again, this time prepared for Kíli’s violence, and he physically encouraged Kíli to leave the room. This only fueled Kíli’s anger, but he was not able to get out of Dwalin’s grip. He was dragged from the room in the most dignified way possible. Just before the doors closed behind them, Kíli yelled one final insult.

“Fuck you, Thorin! You are using us as breeding machines to promote your new Kingdom!”

Multiple Dwarves gasped at that statement. An awkward silence came over the room. Nobody was sure how to behave in the face of such obvious insult to the King. Fíli was impressed at Thorin’s neutral facial expression. He had always been good at controlling his emotions in situations such as this, but Fíli would not have been able to in such extreme circumstances.

“Please sit down everybody, the next course will be served shortly.” Balin announced, seemingly unfazed by the turn of events. Whispered conversations resumed, but Fíli did not participate. He was still standing next to his chair and was deciding whether he should leave now or give Kíli a few minutes to calm down.

Balin came up to him, clearly sent by Thorin, and asked him to sit down.

“There are more lovely ladies who want to make your acquaintance.” Balin implored.

Fíli felt his anger rise. How could they ask him to stay away from his brother when Kíli was clearly in pain? He quickly rationalized though. He needed to win Thorin’s trust. If he followed Kíli now, he would be openly defying the council’s and Thorin’s wishes, just as Kíli had. He would never be able to convince Thorin of his willingness to go along if he left now. And so he forced his face into a smile and nodded, allowing himself to be led to his vacated chair.

It was what felt like hours later when he was finally dismissed by his uncle with a proud smile and a nod. He felt completely drained. Since Kíli had not been there, Fíli had to talk to double the number of Dwarrowdams. They had all been very nice to him and definitely understanding of his situation, so there had not been much flirting going on. Just talking, getting to know them, hearing about their family lines and achievements. But it had been exhausting. His thoughts had been completely taken by Kíli and his outburst, how he must be feeling and what he was doing right now. He had wanted to leave so many times, to run after his brother and explain what he was trying to accomplish by playing along.

He sighed in relief when he exited the dining room. He ran towards his room as soon as the doors closed behind him.

Fíli was pounced the moment he entered his room. He only stumbled slightly since he had expected it. Kíli had been stewing all evening after all.

“Kíli..” he started, but Kíli started kissing him with intent and Fíli melted, the words swept from his mouth by Kíli’s eager tongue. The message was clear: touching now, talking later.

It took them no time at all to divest each other of their clothes. Kíli walked Fíli back towards their bed, lips locked and hands roaming. Fíli sat down when they reached it and Kíli straddled him, bending down to kiss along his jaw and down his neck.

There was no talking, only sighs and moans, until Fíli grasped Kíli’s hair to press his mouth more firmly into his neck. Kíli stiffened and suppressed a sob. Fíli’s eyes widened and his heart-rate sped up at this unexpected response.

“What’s wrong?” Fíli asked. He pushed Kíli back slightly so he was able to look him in the eyes. Kíli looked devastated.

“I took it out. I took it out.” Kíli said, slight panic in his voice. He made no sense.

“What did you take out? What’s happening?” Fíli started to panic as well, thinking back to today’s events and what could have happened to Kíli to cause such an extreme reaction.

“My braid. I had to take my braid out. _Your_ braid.”

“Oh.” Fíli’s hand automatically went to the section of hair he normally braided and indeed found the hair loose and slightly tangled. He felt sick. Kíli never unraveled it except when Fíli was just about to make a new one. This was another thing they needed to keep hidden from now on. Fíli gathered himself quickly. He needed to be strong for Kíli.

“Do you want me to put in a new one?” Fíli asked, voice only quivering slightly. Keep it together.

“Yes, please.” Kíli answered. Fíli was rewarded with a deep kiss which morphed into tangled tongues, groping hands and breathy moans.

“Braid it. You have to claim me with your braid in my hair.” Kíli whispered against Fíli’s mouth. Fíli felt a sizzle of arousal alone his spine at the implication of that statement.

“Turn around then.” He whispered back, planting another kiss on Kíli’s lips.

“No, just do it like this.” Kíli said as he turned his head slightly, simultaneously reaching for something on the nightstand.

“It’s easier when I sit behind you. Like I normally do.”

Kíli shook his head, pouring a little slick on his hand from the bottle he had just grabbed.

“Then I wouldn’t be able to do _this_.” Fíli’s breath hitched as Kíli’s oil-slick hand surrounded his prick and started a slow stroke.   

The braid Fíli weaved into Kíli’s hair was not up to his usual standard. His fingers trembled lightly and he let go of one of the strands multiple times when Kíli did an especially wicked maneuver with his hand. He did manage to finish it after a few minutes of fumbling.

“What did you put in?” Kíli asked, his hand causing Fíli’s eyes to flutter.

“It means love and forever.” Fíli told him as he fingered the braid lightly. He was rewarded with a hard kiss while Kíli smeared some oil around his own rim to ease their joining.

Kíli moved a little higher then, positioned Fíli’s prick and then slowly sank down on it. They shared another languid kiss as Kíli bottomed out, reveling in the feeling of being joined once again.

Kíli’s patience ran out before Fíli’s, as it so often did, and he started to move. Tentatively at first, but that quickly changed once he had found a perfect angle.

“Yesss.” Kíli hissed. Fíli’s hands roamed Kíli’s hard body and whispered encouragements into Kíli’s flesh.

Their lovemaking was like coming home, familiarity, trust, togetherness. At the same time there was something foreign, something different. It was still love and passion, heat and sweat, moans and growls. But there was a desperate edge now. They could no longer take it for granted. It had to be secret now. They needed to _hide_.

Kíli’s face showed it all. He rode him hard, just as he always did. But normally there would be a smile or a smirk on his face. There would be teasing, happiness, elation. Instead, tears were streaming down Kíli’s cheeks. Kíli was crying, Fíli realized with a shock.

“Kíli.” Fíli said softly, trying to slow him down by holding his waist. But Kíli did not look at him.

“No, no, I need this. Please don’t stop.” Kíli said, a sob breaking his voice.

How could Fíli deny him anything? So he let him continue. He whispered encouraging words, soothed him by stroking his skin softly and touching his braid.

“I love you.” Fíli said when Kíli finally made eye contact. The tears had stopped, but his eyes were still red-rimmed and his cheeks were wet with tears. He was close, Fíli could tell. He grabbed Kíli’s hips and pulled him down more firmly on each thrust.

“Yes, yes I love you. Love you forever. You’re mine, you’re mine, you’re mine.” Kíli babbled as his hands winded into Fíli’s hair and he sped up even more.

“I’m yours.” Fíli answered with a strained voice. It felt so good. Kíli’s answering moan was accompanied by his spunk splashing Fíli’s chest. But Kíli did not slow down.

“Please cum inside me, mark me, make me yours again.” Kíli urged, angling his hips slightly so Fíli’s prick would not slide over his oversensitive gland.

It was Kíli’s soft lips on his own that pushed him over the edge.

They wound their arms around one another and did not let go for several minutes, trading kisses and basking in each other’s warmth.

“Talk now or...?” Fíli said after they had cleaned up and lay intertwined under the blankets of Fíli’s bed.

“Tomorrow.” Kíli started. “I don’t want to think about it. Just… tomorrow.” He repeated.

Fíli nodded in understanding and tightened his hold on Kíli’s waist. Tomorrow.


	2. Reprehensible reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after their public separation is announced, Fíli and Kíli deal with the consequences of Thorin’s decision. They discover they still have allies, but that does not make the reality any easier to deal with.

Kíli woke up to warmth, soft kisses and murmured words of praise. He was lying on his back with Fíli draped around him, encapsulating them both in soft morning delight. Fíli made declarations of love into his skin and stroked his sides with reverence. 

He sighed Fíli’s name and received a whispered ‘good morning’ in return.

“Why are we awake when it’s still time for sleeping?” Kíli mumbled, burrowing deeper into his blankets and Fíli’s embrace.

He felt Fíli’s hands stop in their tracks before continuing their downward path.

“I just want to make you feel good.” Was Fíli’s evasive answer. Fíli kissed him then, their mouths sliding together, uncaring about morning breath or chapped lips. It was bliss. They kissed for many moments and Kíli could not decide if he was turned on or completely relaxed. Fíli answered that question by stroking Kíli’s erection with the palm of his hand.

“Let me love you.” Fíli requested when their mouths parted for a few seconds. Kíli’s approving answer was silenced by Fíli’s lips descending on his again.

Fíli shifted and lifted himself on his hands and knees so his whole body was hovering above Kíli’s, their kiss unbroken. He moved back, but Kíli followed and shifted onto his elbows to keep their mouths connected.

“Let me love you.” Fíli repeated when he softly pushed Kíli back into his pillows and kissed over his heart instead.

Kíli closed his eyes and settled into the warmth of the bed, focusing on Fíli’s mouth and hands stroking and licking and kissing and _loving_ from his neck to his shoulders, chest, arms, hands, stomach and then _oh_.

“Yes.” Kíli praised when Fíli’s hands stroked his hips and lower belly and Fíli’s tongue trailed a warm wet path from his balls to the tip of his erection.

Fíli did not tease and followed his tongue with his right hand, softly grasping the base of Kíli’s dick and taking the tip into his mouth. He moved up and down, wetting his lips a few times to ease his way.

There were no complicated maneuvers, held-back gag reflexes or jaw-aching, neck-cramping speeds. Instead it was warm, slick pressure, a laving tongue, petting hands and low, throaty noises. Kíli was being _loved_ and he felt it all the way into his very essence.

A tear trailed from his eye to his ear when he grasped one of Fíli’s hands and felt a soft squeeze. ‘I love you’, the fingers told him. Warmth spread from Kíli’s heart, down his spine, straight to his groin. He looked up then, immediately drawn into Fíli’s gaze, those blue eyes gleaming with want and affection.

Another reassuring squeeze of his hand triggered his climax. He dropped his head back into the pillows, moaning and closing his eyes at the overwhelming pleasure and happiness and _rightness_ that coursed through him for those few precious seconds. Fíli’s mouth was moving, swallowing and praising. _Worshipping_.

Fíli only stopped when Kíli tugged his hand. He needed to kiss him. Craved it. Fíli crawled up and their mouths slotted together again, Fíli’s spit-slick and Kíli’s dry and smiling. Fíli’s stomach was sticky, which reassured him that Fíli had enjoyed it just as much as he had.

“I love you.” Kíli sighed against his brother’s skin.

“And I you.”

They tangled together again. Kíli fully intended to go back to sleep. He had almost drifted off when Fíli gently rocked him awake again while cleaning his own stomach with a towel. Kíli opened his eyes when he felt something was off.

“Don’t go to sleep again.” Fíli spoke with a soft voice, his eyes downcast.

“Why not?” Kíli asked. There was a strange look on Fíli’s face. Something was wrong. Fíli tensed and stuttered through an explanation.

“You can’t.. I mean, I want you here, but.. You know it’s all different now.” Kíli felt a chill all the way to the core of his being. Yesterday had seemed like a dream, but seeing Fíli being insecure and nervous made him fully aware that it had not been a dream at all; Thorin, the council, their separation, the _dinner_.

“Nobody must see you here. You know how often people just barge in here whenever they want. They shouldn’t find you in my bed.” Fíli whispered. His voice cracked on the last word. 

“Are you kicking me out?”

“No! No, of course not.” Fíli reassured him. But the words were empty, because they both knew that Kíli would have to leave before morning.

They were quiet, holding hands and stroking each other’s hair and face. It was Fíli who broke the silence.

“D’you remember when I asked you yesterday not to openly defy Thorin?” There was laughter in his eyes. Kíli grinned back and shrugged.

“I kinda messed it up.” He replied.

“Just a little.” Fíli smiled.

Kíli heaved a sigh, the melancholy returning. “What do we do? I can’t even begin to think of anything.” Fíli frowned and his mouth was pursed in thought.

“I don’t know. The only thing I could think of yesterday was to play along. And I didn’t want you to think I was actually considering Thorin’s plan, but we need to keep Thorin on our good side. Please know I could never take another to bed, let alone into my heart.” Fíli rambled, his panic shone through his voice and Kíli felt his heart skip a beat. _Thorin_ did this to his brother.

He kissed Fíli both to shut him up and to ground himself.

“I know. I know what you did. And I’m sorry I couldn’t pretend like you did.” Kíli replied. Fíli shook his head, a watery smile on his face.

“It doesn’t matter. I convinced Thorin that _I’m_ willing and that’s enough. That _has_ to be enough.”

“I’ll try to control my temper.” Kíli promised. That made Fíli smile again.

“I love your temper.”

They met again in a kiss, Fíli’s hands holding Kíli’s face with tenderness. Their lips slowed down several times, but their mouths refused to part for a long while. It was Fíli who ended it with a kiss on Kíli’s nose.

Kíli swallowed and slowly sat upright. They both knew they could not go back to sleep in Fíli’s bed. They could not be found like this. He eyed the door that connected their rooms. They had slept in Fíli’s bed since Erebor had been reclaimed and the rooms restored. Kíli’s quarters had become an extension of their living space, his bed only used when they were in too much of a rush for a soft surface. But always together. The prospect of sleeping there _alone_ made Kíli want to crawl under Fíli’s covers and never come out. 

“I should..” he trailed off, gesturing at the door to his room.

“Yeah.” Fíli said, but his head shook ‘no’ and his eyes looked decidedly wet even though no tears spilled. Fíli hardly ever cried.

Kíli rose from the bed and gathered his clothes in case somebody would enter Fíli’s room. There could be no accusations of behaving _unbrotherly_. He suddenly felt sick at his own cooperation with Thorin’s plan. It was _working_. Thorin was actually successful at separating them and having them act as brothers, even behind closed doors with nobody around; sleeping in separate rooms and keeping their distance from each other.

He could not look at Fíli. Tears burned in his eyes and if he looked… He nearly ran to the door and pushed it open. Once in his room, he looked back at the door, still slightly ajar. They had never fully closed it, it never needed to be closed. But now? Would he need to close it? Lock it?

The door shut with a loud _click_. Kíli leaned against it, his head hung and tears streaming down his face. It felt like he had closed the door on everything he and Fíli had; the easy camaraderie, the soul-deep love, the devotion, the hours of dragged-out lovemaking. It would all have to change and he _hated_ it.

He crawled into his bed, leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor. The bed was too big, too cold and a million thoughts ran through his mind. It took a long time before sleep finally caught up with him. When it did, it was with his pillow wet with tears, his fists clenched at the injustice and his heart screaming for Fíli.    

 

\--

Fíli felt unbalanced when he entered the large dining hall alone, later that morning. Kíli and him always ate breakfast together, either in the dining hall or in their rooms. This morning he had good reasons for letting Kíli sleep in. First, he wanted to talk to Thorin alone to gauge how he felt about Kíli’s outburst yesterday. Second, Kíli deserved to sleep a little longer after everything. And finally, he just did not dare to face his brother after basically kicking him out of his bed before sunrise. He had stared at the closed door that connected their rooms for a long time that morning before chickening out and leaving Kíli alone.

He found many members of the Company, including Thorin, at one of the breakfast tables. The habit of taking meals together had stuck since their quest to retake Erebor. Not everybody was present at every meal, but most showed up a few times a week. His mother was absent again; he vowed to visit her after breakfast.

“Morning.” Fíli said. He needed to act normal, as if he didn’t feel like he was missing a limb. Or part of his heart.

Everybody responded in kind as he took a seat next to his uncle and started loading his plate. It was second nature to grab both his own and Kíli’s favorites since they usually shared their plates. It took him a few seconds to realize that _he_ would not be eating the grapes on his plate. The hollow feeling he had tried to repress returned twofold and was intensified when Bofur asked the worst possible question.

“Where’s Kíli?”

Fíli’s breath hitched and his eyes shot up to meet Bofur’s, who immediately looked guilty and winced when he was elbowed by Dwalin.

“He’s..” Fíli cleared his throat when his voice rasped. “He’s in his quarters.”

Thorin interrupted Bofur’s response, which looked to have been an apology.

“We should get used to seeing Fíli by himself now.” Thorin announced to the whole table, clapping Fíli on the shoulder. “Fíli is his own man, no longer part of a unit.” Thorin smiled proudly. Fíli felt sick.

“Until he finds his wife, of course.” Thorin laughed heartily. The joke fell flat, only garnering some forced smiles. Fíli’s stomach turned at his uncle’s cruelty. He felt the looks of pity, but kept staring at his plate, expression stoic as he tried not to throw up. Thorin coughed to break the silence that had fallen over the table.

“I believe you all have appointments, don’t you lads?” Balin spoke then, saving Fíli from having to respond. It was a clear dismissal and everybody stood up but Fíli, Thorin and Balin. The members of the Company mumbled their goodbyes, some squeezing Fíli’s shoulder on their way towards the exit.

“Me and Thorin would like to compliment you on how well you handled yourself yesterday.” Balin started when everybody had left. “It must have been difficult for you and we are happy you look to the future instead of lingering in the past.”

“Behavior of a true King.” Thorin added.

Fíli nodded, not trusting his voice. Balin continued.

“We want to discuss future dinner arrangements. It might be best to separate your and Kíli’s dinner parties completely. For Kíli’s sake, of course.” Fíli looked up and saw a strained smile on Balin’s face. He was obviously trying to be tactful, not calling Kíli out on his defiance, insults and generally abhorrent attitude last night. Fíli’s leg started shaking under the table.

“You’re not mad?” Fíli managed to say with a hoarse voice, his eyes darting to his uncle’s. He needed to know if Kíli would be punished. If he would be, then they would leave the mountain before noon. He clenched his fist under the table, digging his nails into his palm.

“No, of course not.” Thorin said to his surprise. “I’ve known from the start that Kíli would not take this news well and, considering everything, yesterday went pretty smoothly. Although I would have preferred to not be called out in front of all those lovely ladies yesterday.” Thorin chuckled.

Fíli looked at him in shock. Him and Kíli had had the worst day of their lives yesterday and Thorin thought it had gone ‘pretty smoothly’?

“Don’t look so shocked. Did you really think I did not prepare to be insulted, screamed at, even attacked? I know you are hurt, Kíli especially, but you will get over it. We are hardy Dwarves of the line of Durin. We are used to hardships. You two will overcome this and our line will become even stronger.”

Fíli’s heart clenched and he pressed his nails firmer into his palm to stop his face from showing any emotion. He could not screw this up. He needed Thorin to trust him. He needed to talk to his mother. He needed Kíli.

Kíli. Thank _Mahal_ he had decided not to bring his little brother to breakfast this morning. Thorin would not have survived this meal, of that Fíli was certain.

When Fíli did not respond beyond a terse inclination of his head, Balin took over.

“So about the next dinner. I suggest we organize two separate dinners; one for you and one for Kíli. This way, the ladies can pick who they want to speak with and there will be no conflicting feelings for you or Kíli.” Fíli scoffed internally. Of course his ‘conflicting feelings’ would disappear the moment Kíli was not in the room, because that was totally how that worked.

“Can I discuss this with Kíli?” Fíli asked instead.

“Of course. Me or Thorin will come by later today to hear your answer. We are aiming for the next dinner to be later this week. Believe it or not, these things take a lot of time to organize.”

Fíli tried to smile, but his face would not cooperate. He asked to be excused.

“One last thing.” Thorin said. He touched Fíli’s arm and Fíli looked up at him. 

“I will not insult you by locking that door between your rooms or by supervising you. I trust you two to do the right thing. I trust that you have truly broken your relationship and will revert back to being _only_ brothers.” Thorin’s blue eyes pierced Fíli’s. Fíli felt a trickle of fear as he lied through his teeth.

“You can trust us. It.. it is over between us.” Fíli said. His heart beat so fast that he could not discern one beat from another.

Thorin smiled softly at his heir.

“I hope you believe me when I say that I am doing what’s best for our People, but that I have your and Kíli’s best interest at heart. If I can do anything to make this easier on the two of you, let me know.”

Fíli wanted to scream. Their best interest was the direct opposite of what Thorin believed to be the best for their People. The two were mutually exclusive.

“Thanks.” He muttered, averting his eyes and rising from his seat. He walked as fast as he could without running to the nearest washroom where he promptly emptied the contents of his stomach.

 

\--

“Prince Fíli.” Another Dwarrowdam greeted him with flourish.

“Good day.” Fíli replied, polite as always. He did not stop walking and apologized that he had no time to chat.

That had been the third Dwarrowdam that had wanted to talk to him in just the short walk from his own quarters to his mother’s. He had never been ignored by any stretch of the imagination, but now it seemed they were actively seeking him out. By now, everybody in the mountain probably knew about his and Kíli’s status as ‘available’. He felt his stomach turn again.

His thoughts returned to Kíli. His brother had not been in either of their rooms when Fíli had returned from breakfast. Was he angry? Upset? Avoiding him? Fíli vowed to look for him after his visit with Dís.

He knocked on his mother’s door and opened it when he heard a faint ‘come in’.

He found Kíli and Dís on her couch, one of her arms around him in a motherly embrace.

“Kíli.” Fíli breathed. He eyed their mother, unsure if it was still okay to show their love in front of her. She smiled; it was.

Dís pushed Kíli towards him and the two brothers met in the middle of her room in a fierce embrace. Kíli exhaled shakily against Fíli’s ear. Fíli pulled back after several moments and touched their foreheads together in a familiar, comforting gesture.

“I’m so sorry.” Fíli started with a soft voice. “I’m sorry for kicking you out of bed this morning. I should have waited. I should have barricaded the door. I should have stayed up so you could sleep.”

“Don’t.” Kíli said, eyes flashing. “It is not your fault. _He_ did this to us.”

“I know, but I should have handled it better. I feel so bad, I’m sorry.”

Kíli tightened his arms around Fíli’s waist in response.

“ _I_ am sorry.” Dís spoke up from the couch, her normally steadfast voice trembling. “For not knowing about Thorin’s plan and not being able to convince him to stop it. And for not being there for you two yesterday at the dinner.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “If I had showed up yesterday, everybody would have thought that I am supporting the council in this matter. And I don’t.” She ended fiercely, proudly. She reminded him so much of Kíli at that moment.

“I told you, mother. There is nothing to forgive.” Kíli replied. Fíli agreed. There wasn’t. She had done nothing wrong.

She beckoned them and they went to her, Kíli settling himself between his mother and brother. She grasped both their hands and squeezed. She was on their side. Fíli felt himself relax for the first time since yesterday morning.

“What do we do?” Fíli asked her. He shifted so he was seated as close to Kíli as possible. He needed all contact he could get.

“What _you_ have already been doing.” Dís replied, looking at him. “Play along.” Fíli nodded and Kíli cringed.

“Nobody blames you for reacting the way you did.” Dís comforted her youngest son. Kíli had clearly filled her in about last night. “It was harsh of Thorin to drop this on you without any warning. We’re lucky Fíli has such a brilliant poker face.” She joked. Fíli felt himself smile at her attempt to lighten the mood.

“Thorin doesn’t blame you either.” Fíli said. Kíli sent him a disbelieving look.

“You spoke to him?” Dís asked.

“Yes, this morning at breakfast. It was… uncomfortable. But he doesn’t blame Kíli. He said he had expected it.”

“Of course he did. Even Thorin is not as clueless that he would expect Ones to part without putting up a fight.” Dís rolled her eyes.

“But he _does_ expect us to part.” Kíli said through clenched teeth.

“Yes he does. And we have to find a way to convince him to change that.” Dís said.

“How?” Fíli asked. He had not come up with any viable solution that did not involve leaving, killing or dying. He was pathetic.

“I don’t know yet. We need time to think of a solution, during which you two need to keep calm and follow the new rules.” Dís instructed. “Act like brothers, keep your distance in public, don’t get caught when showing affection. Wait it out. Don’t act out, no matter how much you want to. We cannot go against Thorin, nobody can.” Both brothers nodded in agreement.

“We should start by finding out who’s on our side.” Dís continued.

“Not Balin.” Kíli sulked.

“No, not Balin.” Dís shook her head. “He’s loyal to Thorin first, the rest second. But Dwalin might be? He’s Thorin’s friend and controls the guard. He could be of some help.”

“Is this like a coup?” Kíli whispered. Fíli’s body jolted. _No_.

“No, no, not at all.” Dís said, demeanor serious. “We are not overthrowing Thorin. We love him, but we all know he gets blind sighted by Erebor and ‘the greater good’ sometimes. We need to show him that this is one of those times and that the happiness of his heirs,…”

“And their sanity.” Kíli mumbled.

“… is more important than a political agenda.”

Fíli breathed a sigh of relief. He would rather leave the mountain altogether than take over the Crown while it was still Thorin’s.

“I will ask around.” Dís decided. “See who can help us gather more information or make a plan to convince Thorin to change his mind. He won’t listen to me or you two since we are ‘too emotionally invested’, as he so eloquently told me yesterday.” Kíli scoffed.

“What can we do besides pretending we’re not together?” Fíli asked.

“Keep your eyes and ears open. Observe who shows support and who doesn’t.” They agreed and a silence descended over them.   

“Oh my brave boys.” She said suddenly, pulling Fíli to sit on her other side and crushing them both to her chest. “I wish none of this had happened.”

Fíli and his brother held their mother tight and embraced like that for a long time.

 

\--

Kíli entered the training area at the end of the afternoon. He was even later than yesterday and Dwalin had already started the instruction for the first exercises. Dwalin raised an eyebrow, but did not comment on his tardiness.

Kíli started by assisting some recruits with their form. A lot of them could not keep their elbows in the correct angle, so he was yanking on a lot of arms and kicked some legs apart to make sure they were standing correctly before they fired their arrows. He might have been a little too rough, but could not make himself care.

He led the next few exercises and heard himself barking instructions and shouting at the Dwarves that did not understand it the first time. The usual happy and relaxed atmosphere was absent and even Dwalin could not lighten the mood with his edgy jokes. There was almost a collective sigh of relief when Kíli dismissed them for the day.

“Interesting training.” Dwalin said as he sat down next to Kíli at the edge of the shooting range.

Kíli shrugged. He was not interested in Dwalin’s opinion. Dwalin cleared his throat and nudged him. Kíli looked up to find a Dwarrowdam approaching him. Oh no.

“Prince Kíli, good day.” Kíli stared at her with lowered brows, not responding.

“I.. I did not get a chance to speak to you last night at the dinner.”

“That was intentional.” Kíli said, stern expression still in place.

“Oh, yes, but I hoped you’d be more agreeable today. Or maybe at the next dinner?” She stumbled on her words and her cheeks reddened.

“I don’t think I will be.” Her face changed into one of shock and she looked anywhere but at him.

“I-If you would excuse me please. Thank you for your time.” She hurried away, much to Kíli’s relief. He continued fiddling with the bow in his hands, not looking up when Dwalin broke the silence.

“That was kinda harsh, lad.”

“I don’t care.” He really didn’t. He had enough on his plate without ‘suitors’ harassing him _outside_ of those mandatory dinners. She had been the first to approach him and he hoped his rudeness would make her the last.  

Dwalin sighed. They stayed there in companionable silence, checking over all the bows and applying wax to the strings of the ones that needed it. Kíli comtemplated his mother’s words and decided to put Dwalin to the test.

“You think I should have talked to her then?” Kíli asked, referring to the girl he’d just brushed off.

Dwalin looked at him. There were many Dwarves milling about the area and it seemed Dwalin was trying to find the words to answer his question. He set down the final bow and turned to Kíli.

“I think it is your right to _talk_ to _whomever_ you want.” Dwalin said slowly, giving him a meaningful look.

Kíli felt his throat tighten with emotion. Dwalin was on _their_ side, not Thorin’s.

“That’s,” Kíli cleared his throat. “That’s good to hear.” Dwalin slapped his shoulder and grinned.

“Let’s eat.” They walked in companionable silence to the dining hall, thankfully not the same one he’d been in last night.

Kíli did not feel comfortable being in a room with his uncle, but he knew he had to join the shared meals again eventually. Might as well be today.

Most of the Company was present, including both Thorin at the head of the table and Fíli right next to him. Gloin scooted over to make room for him next to Fíli. He was just about to walk towards them when he saw Fíli was shaking his head. His eyes flitted to Thorin and he saw their uncle was watching them like a hawk. Kíli slowed his steps and considered his options for a moment. The thought of sitting next to Fíli with Thorin watching them for any flaws in the ‘brother-façade’ sounded mildly nauseating.

He took a seat next to Dwalin instead, as far away from Thorin (and Fíli) as possible.

Kíli did not engage in much conversation beyond clipped replies when he was asked something directly. He did not taste the food he mechanically put in his mouth, acutely aware of the glances that the others sent his and Fíli’s way. He did not think he could be more uncomfortable until his uncle started speaking.

“I’m glad you’ve joined us for the meal, Kíli.” He’d skipped both breakfast and lunch in the dining hall, preferring to eat by himself in his rooms, and had therefore not eaten with his uncle since last night’s disaster dinner.

Kíli looked up from his plate and studied his uncle’s face. He seemed completely neutral, but for the tightening around his eyes; he was tense. Kíli felt the manic desire to repeat the words he’d shouted at Thorin last night, right here in front of the Company. He caught Fíli’s gaze then and knew he couldn’t. They had a plan now.

The silence between his uncle’s statement and his own reply stretched and made many of his companions nervous. Good, they could suffer right along with him. In the end, he decided that a nod would suffice as his only response.

Thorin nodded back and did not address him again for the entirety of the meal.

Kíli escaped the hall as soon as was appropriate and headed for his room, where he fell face-down on top of the covers of his own bed. His own horrid, lonely bed. Oh, how he craved to be able to sleep in the same bed as Fíli. There had to be a way around his uncle’s orders, right?

He spent the next few minutes contemplating all the ways that he and Fíli could still be together the entire night without the necessity of one of them leaving before sunrise. His plans ranged from blocking or locking the doors to finding a different sleeping place altogether, one only they knew and where they could stay together until morning every day.

But who was he kidding? There was no place in Erebor where the two Princes could escape to every night without it being noticed eventually. Both him and Fíli were not watched or supervised when they were in the mountain, so they could generally escape notice for small periods of time. But he knew Dwalin was always aware of both his and Fíli’s general location, so there must be a system in place within the guard to keep track of their Princes. There was no way they could find a different bedroom to be together until morning, especially now.

Unfortunately, blocking the door was out too. That would blow their cover the moment somebody discovered they could not enter. And locking their doors was no use. Everybody in the guard had a key: If something happened, others needed to be able to get to them.

Kíli sighed. He felt empty and defeated. He hoped their mother would come up with a plan to help them. He would die if he had to watch his brother get married to somebody else. A distressed sound escaped his throat.

Sometime later, when he had almost fallen asleep wallowing in misery, he heard his name being called. He turned to look. Fíli was standing in the door opening that connected their rooms, looking anxious, his hand held out in invitation. Kíli did not hesitate and joined his brother, leading them both to Fíli’s bed, even if it was only for a few hours. It felt almost normal when he fell into his brother’s embrace, trying desperately to forget that the charade would start again in the morning. Until then, he wanted to drown himself in Fíli. And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Now that you've heard Thorin's view on their separation and 'overcoming hardships will make you stronger', do you agree?  
> Do you think Thorin is right and they will eventually get over it?  
> Or do you think Thorin just does not fully understand the bond between Ones, or more specifically the bond between Fíli and Kíli?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> You can find me on tumblr as [alwaysfarawayeyes](https://alwaysfarawayeyes.tumblr.com/). I post WIP snippets and reblog FiKi and Britchell stuff that I like and/or use for inspiration. You can also send me messages there, which I love reading :)  
> Cheers!


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